UltraPing Blog

Pass around your nearest town very early in the daybreak and you’ll discover a number of road sweepers moving slowly around tidying up the rubbish left from all the shenanigans of last night. It’s an emblematic early morning setting, and it frequently obscures the litter problem we encounter. We don’t actually give litter a second thought as we feel keeping the streets tidy is not our job.

Nonetheless, there is a subtle yet substantial impact litter plays on human psychology. People are more likely to believe an area is less well policed if rubbish is strewn around, and so criminals see rubbish as a potential signal for a chance of a mugging or robbery. The same signal produces some fear in other people who are concerned they may be passing into a more dodgy area and are wary of being assaulted.

Not only that, but also the impact on the visual appeal of a location. Rubbish strewn about can make a neighbourhood seem a bit derelict even though it’s just been “abused” by revellers from the previous night. This can damage the reputation of an area if individuals are only within the location for this particular short period of time and only view it in its unkempt state.

There’s no purpose to drop rubbish if there are unfilled bins within the location. If there are no litter bins, or the litter bins that are there are brimming, this is a problem to address the local council with. Trashing an area has a negative impact on everyone.

Clinical Depression can occur in numerous different ways.

• It originates suddenly without warning
• It slowly emerges over time
• It is triggered by mental injury, strain or serious troubles
• There is a kinfolk history of depressive disorder
• There is no simple answer to why you get depression. Nowadays we do know that depression occurs as an interaction between a genetic disposition and external influences during juvenile years.

You are at a greater risk of developing a depressive disorder If your father, kid or brother have had depression

External actuates can be recent events but they often origin deep into the past and go back to psychical influences during childhood. Inner circumstances stem from your mind, your personality and view patterns. For many outside and private contributing factors, cognitive behavioral psychotherapy (CBT) can often help. Psychotherapy can either be piece of your current treatment regime or help by giving you intervention tools to work with. Working on recognized or suspected sparks can shrink the hazard of developing depression.

The relationship with parents in childhood is of fundamental grandness for a healthy psychological development. Disturbances in this relationship may increase the danger of developing depression later on. During puerility there can be more tributary causes for growing clinical depression.

It may also be current external circumstances that wear you down over a long period of time. Usually these factors do not directly create a clinical depression but they may trigger it if you are vulnerable to it.

These factors can in some cases be activating to sparking clinical depression. Of these elements, desolation is one of the most important. You are at the greatest jeopardy of growing clinical depression if you don’t have somebody in whom you can confide. Superficial conversances cannot substitute the one person you are closest to.

Your behavioural practice is called passive when you react to hardship by

Feeling blue changes your remembering; you are more liable to recall bad sentiments and experiences and to overlook all good ones. This distortion of your memory can also fortify and prolongs your clinical depression.

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” - Eleanor Roosevelt.

If you are the victim of bullying the chances are that you think the opening quote is harsh and unfair and not applicable to you. But I’d like you to think about it a little more…and realise how liberating it is in reality. It means that you can CHOOSE how to react to the actions of a bully. Let me give you an example from one of my clients. She came to me complaining that a colleague often sneered at her and belittled her, calling her stupid and making sarcastic remarks at her expense. This was causing her a lot of grief. So one question I asked her was did he treat everyone this way or just her? She paused and admitted that she was in a minority. She noted that there were some people in her workplace that he treated respectfully and it was nothing to do with their position. So we explored what she thought they did differently and she recognised that these people had an invisible shield around them that seemed to prevent bullies even attempting to belittle them.

At this stage she was really fed up of this colleague’s behaviour, so she was willing to try anything. We devised a strategy whereby she would enlist some psychological support from her friends beforehand, then she asked to speak to the bully in private. Let’s call him John. She asked him calmly and clearly to stop making insulting and belittling remarks to her. He blustered and denied the accusation at first, using the bully staple of accusing her of having “no sense of humour”. She asked him again and eventually he apologised. She had then agreed to call a friend afterwards to debrief and exult in her newfound strength! Things were going fine but then he made a comment and she asked him again in a clear neutral way to stop saying those things to her. And that was it. He stopped completely. In fact a couple of months afterwards I asked how he was and she told me that they had actually become quite good friends.

Set and guard your boundaries

What had my client done? She had set her boundaries and stuck to them. Boundaries are what we use to tell people what we will and will not accept. We teach people how to treat us. Quite often, bullies are unaware of the devastation their comments and actions are causing and when pointed out to them in a calm, strong unemotional way can be quite apologetic for their actions. Of course you can argue that you can’t do that with your boss. But do you want to do something about it (and perhaps save many other people from misery?) or do you want to do (as I heard one man on the radio did) stay in a job where you are disrespected and bullied for 8 years? And of course (and this is where you need to be honest with yourself…) there are some people who just enjoy being victims and all the attention that they can get..

Is that you?

Handling the situation

If you are being bullied at work,

1. Clearly define what behaviour you want the person to stop e.g. “Please do not shout at me when asking me to do something”. If you feel that you could get too emotional, rehearse it with a friend and find a way to release the emotion. Be prepared for the person to blame you and deny the effect of the behaviour. Stay strong though!

2. If the person repeats the behaviour, ask them again to stop. Of course if you can’t do that at the time, return to the person again and ask them to stop.

3. Develop allies to give you support…whether inside or outside the company. But don’t get stuck in complaining mode. Too many people spend years complaining about their situation instead of actually doing anything about it.

4. Keep a written record of all the incidents in which you are bullied. This will be vital if you ever decide to pursue the legal route.

5. Make sure your supervisor is told about the situation…in writing.

6. Work on your boundaries. Practise saying no to situations and people that don’t serve you. You could begin with low-risk situations to begin developing your boundary muscles.

Remember, the bully’s behaviour is about THEM, not you. You can find some useful resources on bullying at the following websites:
http://www.abc.tcd.ie

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/ireland.htm